Awakening to Divine Reality: A Pastor's Journey from Religious Dogma to Spiritual Truth

Reflections on Heaven, Hell, and Christian Salvation

For over five decades, the concept of heaven and hell perplexed me. In my Christian upbringing, we were taught that hell was the punishment for sin - a belief that echoes across many cultures worldwide.

According to Christian doctrine, God created a place where sinners would endure eternal torment in a burning lake of fire, with no possibility of escape. The sole reprieve from this everlasting punishment was to recite a specific prayer during one's earthly life - a prayer inviting Jesus Christ into one's heart.

The Pastor's Dilemma: Confronting Biblical Contradictions

During my 27-plus years as a pastor, I immersed myself in biblical studies, often dedicating up to 16 hours a day to this pursuit. My hunger for divine knowledge was insatiable, and I grew in understanding daily. However, paradoxically, the more I studied, the more confused I became. Inconsistencies emerged, and I found myself making excuses for what appeared to be God's harsh judgments.

The concept of a loving God condemning His beloved children to an eternal lake of fire, regardless of the reason, became increasingly difficult to reconcile with my understanding of divine love.

The Breaking Point: A Pastor's Crisis of Faith

One pivotal day, I reached my breaking point. I issued an ultimatum to God, declaring that I would cease teaching and preaching until He revealed the truth to me. After 27 years, I found myself unable to manifest the very beliefs I had been espousing. A sense of inauthenticity and hypocrisy overwhelmed me, and I could no longer continue living this way. In this moment of spiritual crisis, I took a stand. It was then that I heard God's response:

"Put the Bible down for a year and pursue experience rather than knowledge."

Spiritual Awakening: Beyond the Bounds of Religion

During that transformative year and continuing to this day, I've EXPERIENCED numerous spiritual encounters that have shattered my long-held religious beliefs.

I discovered that EXPERIENCE truly trumps knowledge by leaps and bounds.

While I reveled in my newfound relationship with the divine and these profound EXPERIENCES, I couldn't help but feel deceived by organized religion. I grappled with the sense that my years of rigorous study had been in vain, lamenting the lost opportunities and potential accomplishments had I known this truth earlier. Moreover, I was haunted by the realization that for 27 years as a pastor, I had been teaching others concepts that I now understood to be untrue.

Epiphany in a Hotel Room

As I write this from a hotel room, taking a break from daily routines with my son and seeking guidance for my future path, I've come to a profound realization - one that you, my readers, likely already understand.

Those years were not in vain; they were an integral part of my journey.

Much like Moses' 40 years in Egypt and subsequent 40 years in the desert, my experiences were necessary for my ultimate purpose. Without having experienced the oppression of Egypt and the hardships of desert wandering, Moses could never have effectively led the Israelites out of Egypt's bondage and through the desert wilderness.

Similarly, without having endured the struggles within organized religion and the spiritual wilderness that followed, I would not be equipped to guide others through their own exodus from limiting beliefs towards their personal promised land of spiritual freedom.

Experience: The Ultimate Teacher

I've come to realize that there is no better teacher than experience.

The words, concepts, and ideologies in the Bible are often just perceptions that people dogmatically defend. However, I now understand that the true purpose of the Bible is to stir one's soul, inspiring a shift from mere knowledge to profound personal experience. When I encountered God firsthand, my entire perception of the Bible crystallized with a clarity that is difficult to convey to those who haven't shared such an experience. This direct divine encounter illuminated the scriptures in a way that transcends intellectual understanding, revealing depths of meaning that remain inaccessible through study alone.

The True Nature of God: Love Without Conditions

Through my spiritual awakening, I've come to understand that God is pure unconditional love, free from the need for sacrifice. The notion that He killed His son or created a place of eternal torment is, I now realize, a misinterpretation born of religious bondage. These teachings serve only to foster judgment and condemnation. Remarkably, the very scriptures I studied for over 27 years were proclaiming God's unconditional love, yet I was blind to this message. My perception, shaped by misguided human interpretations, obscured the truth.

This realization underscores the critical importance of personal spiritual experience. Without it, one is left clinging to unproven concepts, defending them dogmatically while missing the essence of divine love that permeates the sacred texts.

The Inner Reality: Decoding Biblical Symbolism

The Bible, I've come to understand, is not a literal historical account but a profound allegory pointing to truths within ourselves.

The external world we perceive is merely a projection of our inner reality, much like a dream that seems utterly real until we awaken.

Upon awakening from this cosmic dream, we may marvel at how convincingly real it all appeared. This illusion of reality stems from the fact that genuine experience is the only true reality.

Our consciousness determines our experience; in a dream, our consciousness is fully immersed, making it our momentary reality. Similarly, in our waking state, our consciousness creates our perceived reality. True experience, the essence of reality, can only occur in the present moment - the eternal "now."

Hell: A States of Mind, Not An Afterlife Destination

The concept of  hell, I've come to realize, is not a physical location in the afterlife, but a state of mind we experience in the present.

When we focus our consciousness on internal pain, we create a reality that feels like "hell" - a state devoid of the peace, love, and non-judgment that characterize a "heaven" state of mind. The torment often associated with hell is, in fact, an internal experience - a state of being that we choose, consciously or unconsciously.

This understanding redefines the concept of salvation. We are not being saved from an external place of eternal punishment, but rather from our own self-imposed mental and emotional torment.

True salvation, then, is the choice to shift our consciousness from a state of inner turmoil to one of peace and love - from "hell" to "heaven" within our own minds.

The Divine Within: Recognizing Our True Nature

We are, in essence, ONE with the divine both in heaven and on earth. The divine is not an external entity, but an internal presence. As scripture suggest, "The kingdom of heaven is within you."

The key to spiritual awakening is not inviting God into our hearts, but rather becoming aware of and waking up to our true nature. It's about realizing who it is that already exists within us.

When we look in the mirror, we see the physical form that consciousness - or the divine - is currently inhabiting. It is this consciousness that perceives the world through our eyes. The "I AM" that we experience is the essence of the divine within us.

While our individual ego is not the divine itself, the consciousness that animates our being is divine in nature.

From this perspective, we can consider that the divine is experiencing this world through each of us, using our unique perspectives as windows into creation.

The journey of spiritual growth, therefore, becomes one of self-discovery and recognition of our inherent divine nature, rather than seeking an external deity.

The Power of Personal Experience

Experience truly transcends knowledge. The beliefs we hold so dogmatically, often taught to us by others who relied on their own interpretations without personal spiritual encounters, pale in comparison to the insights gained through direct experience.

If you find that traditional religious teachings no longer resonate with you, I encourage you to take a bold step as I did. Allow yourself to think beyond the confines of religious doctrine. Make a declaration to open yourself to new understandings (without judgment). Draw a line in the sand, committing to personal spiritual exploration, and observe the transformative changes that unfold.

Conclusion: The Journey Continues

As I reflect on my journey from a traditional pastor bound by religious dogma to a seeker of spiritual truth, I'm filled with gratitude for every step of the path. The years I spent studying scripture, the crisis of faith that led me to question everything, and the profound experiences that followed have all contributed to my current understanding.

I now see that hell is not a distant realm, but a state of consciousness we can choose in each moment. The divine is not an external judge, but the very essence of our being.

This blog is not an endpoint, but a milestone in an ongoing journey of spiritual discovery. I invite you, dear reader, to embark on your own path of questioning, seeking, and experiencing. Let go of preconceived notions and dogmatic beliefs. Instead, open yourself to direct spiritual experiences that can transform your understanding of yourself, the world, and the divine.

Remember, the kingdom of heaven is within you. It's not a destination to reach, but a reality to awaken to.

As you navigate your own spiritual journey, may you find the courage to question, the wisdom to discern, and the love to embrace the divine presence that resides in every aspect of existence.

In sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to look beyond the confines of traditional religious teachings and explore the boundless realms of spiritual truth. The journey may be challenging, but the rewards - a deeper connection with the divine, a greater sense of peace, and a more profound understanding of our place in the universe - are immeasurable.

Let us continue to grow, to learn, and to awaken to the divine reality that surrounds and permeates us all. Take that courageous step, draw your line in the sand, and open yourself to the transformative power of personal spiritual experience.